Sometimes I Leave My IPod Unsupervised at Work
…and when I return to my desk from doing whatever I was doing..usually something normal like going to the bathroom, getting coffee or lunch, or making a personal phone call..I find that I had forgotten to press the ‘pause’ button. Inevitably, because I listen to my music at the highest possible volume because I clearly want [...]
I can’t believe I have to go back to the AHOLE DMV. F*CK ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
NOTE: This post was written 1.5 years ago. Thanks to the prick who stole my wallet on Saturday I have to go back. WAY TOO SOON. Whoever you are, I hope you die a slow, painful death. Saturday, August 11, 2007 Adventures in the Jersey City DMV As punishment for losing my drivers license during July’s unfortunate [...]
Drugstore Items That You Don’t Want to Be Caught Dead Buying
They’re either disgusting, embarrassing…or just plain wrong. Either way you sure as hell don’t want anyone you know to catch you purchasing them (especially your boss, co-workers, or that hottie that you’ve been trying to bang). If any of these items are on your list, I recommend that you go to the 24 hour drugstore [...]
Windows Vista is the Fainting Goat of Operating Systems
Monday, September 15, 2008 by Natalie
When it gets overwhelmed or overstimulated, AKA scared, it just totally passes out, rendered helpless with it’s poor silly goat legs up in the air. Like a little b*tch. Except unlike a fainting goat, windows vista isn’t cute and adorable, nor does it incite hysterical laughter. Instead, it incites anger. Oh, and let’s also not forget that [...]
I Like Food. Starvation is So 2002.
Eat these things. They’re healthy, filling, and GOOD for you. Baby Carrots or Whole Grain Pita Dipped in Hummus I love hummus, but pita chips can be dangerous. I get my fix with baby carrots or a whole grain pita cut into triangles. Just don’t go too nuts with the hummus, some brands have added oils & [...]
I May Not Look Like a Beast But I Could Still Kick the Sh*t Out of You If I Needed To.
I’ve encountered these scenarios way too many times, especially recently - - and they usually involve elevators and disgusting men that should have ’sexual predator’ tattooed on their foreheads. One particularly memorable (or horrible) encounter happened last week. It was about 8 o’clock at night, and I had run to the deli next door to grab a few [...]
Damn You, Facebook.
Fri, Sep 12, 2008 by Natalie
I warned you last week, but you went ahead and did it anyway. With no real warning. I hate your new look. Way to f*ck up my Friday. I’m not going to be in a good mood later so you better hope that I have a few drinks to loosen me up before I see you [...]
Too lazy to work out? Eating like crap? If your stomach is all beer and no six-pack, post a picture of this guy to your fridge. Every time you have an urge for ice-cream or Cheese Wiz, you’ll get too nauseous to complete to deed.
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009 by Natalie
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