Sometimes I Leave My IPod Unsupervised at Work
…and when I return to my desk from doing whatever I was doing..usually something normal like going to the bathroom, getting coffee or lunch, or making a personal phone call..I find that I had forgotten to press the ‘pause’ button. Inevitably, because I listen to my music at the highest possible volume because I clearly want [...]
I can’t believe I have to go back to the AHOLE DMV. F*CK ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
NOTE: This post was written 1.5 years ago. Thanks to the prick who stole my wallet on Saturday I have to go back. WAY TOO SOON. Whoever you are, I hope you die a slow, painful death. Saturday, August 11, 2007 Adventures in the Jersey City DMV As punishment for losing my drivers license during July’s unfortunate [...]
Drugstore Items That You Don’t Want to Be Caught Dead Buying
They’re either disgusting, embarrassing…or just plain wrong. Either way you sure as hell don’t want anyone you know to catch you purchasing them (especially your boss, co-workers, or that hottie that you’ve been trying to bang). If any of these items are on your list, I recommend that you go to the 24 hour drugstore [...]
Windows Vista is the Fainting Goat of Operating Systems
Monday, September 15, 2008 by Natalie
When it gets overwhelmed or overstimulated, AKA scared, it just totally passes out, rendered helpless with it’s poor silly goat legs up in the air. Like a little b*tch. Except unlike a fainting goat, windows vista isn’t cute and adorable, nor does it incite hysterical laughter. Instead, it incites anger. Oh, and let’s also not forget that [...]
I Collect Scented Dryer Sheets
Wed, Oct 15, 2008 by Natalie
Gain Joyful Expressions brand dryer sheets. I order them in bulk from Amazon. Why? Because they’re really fing hard to find in the stores and they smell amazing. I also collect Vodka (capitalized as all proper nouns should be) and scented lint removers. These items, along with Kaboom spray and kitchen sponges, are essentials for any self-respecting 28 year old single, [...]
The Scariest AIM Icon Ever
Sun, Sep 21, 2008 by Natalie
This face totally creeps me out. It just screams stalker or predator. Anyone that uses it should have their AIM or text privileges permanently revoked. There might as well be an meatcleaver icon.
Since When Are People Rewarded for Not Being Sociopaths?
And by ‘rewards,’ I’m not just referring to tangible things like money (even though I know of families that actually give their kids money based on the ‘good deeds’ that they’ve performed, like letting the fat kid on the bus sit next to them, or helping pick up someone’s books), I’m also talking about granting non-tangible rewards, such as approval or admiration. Like the prick [...]
Too lazy to work out? Eating like crap? If your stomach is all beer and no six-pack, post a picture of this guy to your fridge. Every time you have an urge for ice-cream or Cheese Wiz, you’ll get too nauseous to complete to deed.
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009 by Natalie
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