Sometimes I Leave My IPod Unsupervised at Work
…and when I return to my desk from doing whatever I was doing..usually something normal like going to the bathroom, getting coffee or lunch, or making a personal phone call..I find that I had forgotten to press the ‘pause’ button. Inevitably, because I listen to my music at the highest possible volume because I clearly want [...]
I can’t believe I have to go back to the AHOLE DMV. F*CK ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
NOTE: This post was written 1.5 years ago. Thanks to the prick who stole my wallet on Saturday I have to go back. WAY TOO SOON. Whoever you are, I hope you die a slow, painful death. Saturday, August 11, 2007 Adventures in the Jersey City DMV As punishment for losing my drivers license during July’s unfortunate [...]
Drugstore Items That You Don’t Want to Be Caught Dead Buying
They’re either disgusting, embarrassing…or just plain wrong. Either way you sure as hell don’t want anyone you know to catch you purchasing them (especially your boss, co-workers, or that hottie that you’ve been trying to bang). If any of these items are on your list, I recommend that you go to the 24 hour drugstore [...]
Windows Vista is the Fainting Goat of Operating Systems
Monday, September 15, 2008 by Natalie
When it gets overwhelmed or overstimulated, AKA scared, it just totally passes out, rendered helpless with it’s poor silly goat legs up in the air. Like a little b*tch. Except unlike a fainting goat, windows vista isn’t cute and adorable, nor does it incite hysterical laughter. Instead, it incites anger. Oh, and let’s also not forget that [...]
I’m Secretly Upset That I’ll Never Be Able to Have a Half-Asian Baby
Mon, Apr 6, 2009 by Natalie
…or maybe not so secretly. **Note that if you have weird hate mail to send me please use the ‘Contact Me’ page. So little people and half Asian babies seem to be a trend. And I’ve totally catapulted myself onto both band wagons. Unfortunately my fiance is Polish–pretty much as far away from Asian as he [...]
I’m Going to Hell Because I Tried to Convince My Fiance to Give Away His Dog
Wed, Mar 11, 2009 by Natalie
It obviously failed miserably. But I said it. I admit it. I’m evil, and I’ve already admitted it to him. I’m scared sh*tless about living with an animal…and being responsible for an actual breathing creature. At the shock of innumerable people in my life, I’m recently engaged, and the idea of having a pet is more [...]
If I’m Wearing Headphones in the Gym, Don’t F*cking Talk to Me
Wed, Feb 11, 2009 by Natalie
I’m a people person about 80% of the time. The other 20% of the time I’m either sleeping, running, playing the piano, or working out in the gym.
Too lazy to work out? Eating like crap? If your stomach is all beer and no six-pack, post a picture of this guy to your fridge. Every time you have an urge for ice-cream or Cheese Wiz, you’ll get too nauseous to complete to deed.
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009 by Natalie
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