The Natalie Show

Last night I was curled up in bed, going through my usual evening about-to-pass out ritual of scanning through all mindless/creepy/gory/disturbing sh*t that happens to be on TV between the hours of 11 and 4 AM.

Simon was out in the living room, watching wrestling, wanting nothing to do with whatever show I chose to rot my exhausted brain with.

We had to be up at 6 AM this morning, which is inhumane, and since I can barely function on less than 8 hours of sleep, I had all intentions of being passed out by midnight at the LATEST. Just so I could survive at work.

So…most of you know by now that I’m pretty much legally blind. If I don’t have my glasses or contacts in, you will find me wandering around helplessly. I can barely make out shapes…and I squint at the TV even with my specs. on. So flipping through the FIOS guide at warp speed, it would be easy to understand how I mistook ‘Love Me, Love My Doll,’ for ‘Love Me, Love MY Dog’ after hovering over BBC America

I’m a new dog owner and still experience schizophrenic like emotions over our little Peanut so watching other people in the same type of  discomfort is of great interest to me.  

I nestled into the covers and prepped myself for crazy Brits screaming about how out of control dogs were destryoing their marriages.

I did not get dogs.

I got dolls. Life sized dolls that men had paid 10,000 dollars to have specially made out of ‘human’ like materials so that they could have relationships with them, have sex with them, and create entire worlds around them.

These men also agreed to let the BBC broadcast their insanity to the entire world, so I knew that I was in for a treat. Everyone loves watching a good train wreck, but nothing is quite as deliciously forbidden as watching people who DON’T think that they’re train wrecks be trainwrecks. Especially when they are completely sober, under the influence of NADA.

But drugs and alcohol are so passe anyway. Heroin addiction is very 1990s, even anorexia is out of style. Sure, shows like Intervention and Hoarders attract millions of viewers, but our society has grown so desensitized to everything that they’re quickly losing momentum.

BBC saw this and ran with it. Sex addiction, eh…been there. Internet porn? Shopping addiction, old news. Grown men with fetishes for dolls is where it’s at.

Joking aside, the sadness of these men whose lives are completely centered around their plastic princesses is not skipped over. Some of them actually somehow managed to have relationships with ‘real’ women, though when they finally revealed the true extent of their obsession (perfectly caught by BBC in ‘impromptu’ visits), they were once again left alone with lifeless, vacant eyed, perfectly proportioned girlfriends.

But on the flipside, it’s hard to feel bad for them when you’re wondering what would happen if the doll every decided to talk back…

Love Me, Love My Doll captivated me and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

And I only caught the last 20 minutes.