Drugstore Items That You Don’t Want to Be Caught Dead Buying
They’re either disgusting, embarrassing…or just plain wrong. Either way you sure as hell don’t want anyone you know to catch you purchasing them (especially your boss, co-workers, or that hottie that you’ve been trying to bang). If any of these items are on your list, I recommend that you go to the 24 hour drugstore at midnight…in a ski mask.
Beef Jerky
We all know that the fistfull of beef jerky that you ‘casually’ grabbed at the counter while waiting to be rung up wasn’t an impulse buy. You came in with one purpose, and one purpose only. For the sticks of cured meat. The box of pasta, deodorant, and lady’s razors are a nice attempt at a cover up but you aren’t fooling anyone.This is gross, but be a man and own it.
Condoms, KY - - and your Penicillin Rx
Whether it’s a coincidence or not, this combination of items conjures up really disgusting and unnecessary visuals.No one cares that the antibiotics are for your ‘sore throat.’ Spare the poor people working the registers and other innocent bystanders and make two separate trips for your ‘party favors’
The latest issue of US Weekly with Clay Gaykin on the Cover
Do I really need to explain this one?
Jumbo Pixie Stix
Also known as the poor man’s (or pre-teen’s) crack, anyone over the age of 14 buying this shit should be arrested. I spent many a night snorting lines of Pixie Stix and chasing them with Jolt Cola as a kid…but that’s so 1992. If your coke habit is getting too expensive, switch to Redbull.
Too lazy to work out? Eating like crap? If your stomach is all beer and no six-pack, post a picture of this guy to your fridge. Every time you have an urge for ice-cream or Cheese Wiz, you’ll get too nauseous to complete to deed.
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October 15th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Someone once suggested to me that I stopped being a vegetarian to eat beef jerky… But here’s my food confession:
My first foray back into the land of carnivores was chinese food which I guiltily ate alone at my dining room table. In hindsight, I wish I made it more of a “first.”
I feel like I banged an (lets just say) “undesirable” just to get rid of my virginity….